Okay, as you've probably already guessed, I'm rooting through some of my writings to try and get them sorted out. Here's one that I wrote as an assignment for a creative writing class last year. The assignment was titled: A Storybook Memo.
Dear Mistress Elvira Little Pig,
Having already contacted your brothers, Seth and Gable Little Pig, who both blatantly refused to pay any mind to my letters of notice, I chose to turn to you as a last resort. You’re pleasantly charmed to be graced with my words of importance, I’m sure.
I have petitioned the towns and villages around the forest, as well as the forest itself on the matter of the eviction of your family from our beloved land of Pigsbane. I’m sorry to say that the vote was unanimous.
I should warn you not to resist, for we sent a legion of our best exhalation artillery to your first brother, Gable. He was apprehended and thrown into the dungeon after our forces found him huddled in the furthest corners of his straw-clad home. The destruction of his domain was swiftly carried out. The same happened with your other brother Seth and his pathetic stick house.
I hope you wisely choose to comply with our requests, or the fate of your brothers may fall upon you and your brick abode.
Sincerely,
Cletus O. Big Bad Wolf
General of the High Exhalation Army
President of the Big Wind Committee
...I know; I'm weird.
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